|This Must Hurt|
You are hurting.
Once you had a dream about this venture, it kept you up at night and woke you up in the morning. It featured in every prayer from your lips, your divine contract with God. It became your identity; you say, this is what I do, this is who I am.
For a while it seemed feasible, even almost certain. Then the skies started to shit bricks and you started to wonder if the previous progress was just beginners’ luck.You lose money, tons of money. Maybe you fall into debt. And just when you thought you’ve hit rock bottom and all you needed to do was add another gust of determination, you fall again and realize there is no rock bottom. Gravity is relative and infinite.
You are down to nada, zilch, nothing in the bank. Your balance is negative and it’s earning interest. You success has always been a determinant of your mood and now it translates directly. You feel like your bank balance and it is beginning to affect your reasoning and sense of self worth.
You steel your self to be stoic. You try to fake it till you can make it but it’s taking too long and it’s starting to show, no matter how you try. Your vision of you as a flailing, drowning person is pathetic and it is so depressing.
It gets worse. As you your bills come due and you have to renegotiate schedules, you perceive people are noticing. They send their subordinates to deal with you, signaling your reduced status in the pecking order. Sometimes you ignore it, often it seems they are pushing you to lash out. Don’t. Save your anger and energy for a more effective response.
Get this straight. If changes in your bank balances affect your feelings and psyche, if it impacts your beliefs and principles, I'm sad to inform you that you're human after all. You’ve been playing this game all you life, walking with a swagger when all was great. It just so happens that the most popular flavour in the kitchen of life is sweet and sour, usually served as a tasty single dish, but also available in two different concentrated extremes. Take your medicine.
Let this experience change you for the better. Growth is painful at first, these are teething pains that can birth a better you. Don’t let the it be in vain. And the hardest one..... try not to make it mean anything about you as a person or that you are a failure. You are not.
You have failed does not make you a failure. You lost an investment does not make you a loser. You are not your bank balance. The people you meet everyday are not the jobs they do. A human being is more than the sum of her job description, no matter how well written. Learn to treat people with respect; it will make you feel better about yourself.
You just happen to be a person, as legitimate, smart, and good as anyone else, maybe with zero dollars. But regardless of the setback you have faced, you still have the license to start again. They can’t cancel you, don’t cancel yourself.
And that's all there is to this.